Okay, yes. Hello everyone!

I know I said I would publish something by the end of the week last week, but hey, life gets in the way. I will write a little about my enlightenment from St. Paul last week, as promised, but I also want to tie in a little about my general worldview by dipping my toes into the MBTI typing system. If you don’t really know what that is, you can click the link and take the test, or if you don’t want to do that, you can just click here to get a general idea of what it is or here to read about the different types.

Also, just a disclaimer that I have no background in Psychology, nor am I certified to advise others on how to use this system. I would suggest checking out this blogger if you are looking for more professional insight or knowledge.

Et on commence…

This summer I have been interning in the city at Busted Halo on the Upper West Side. The media site was founded by the Paulists, and the office is basically in the Church of St. Paul the Apostle near Columbus Circle and Fordham Lincoln Center. Great. So, two days a week, I go in for the internship, but because of the LIRR schedule and my own angst about being late, I get to Columbus circle about 30 minutes earlier than I need to be. This gives me a perfect opportunity to go into the church to pray and reflect, as well as prepare for the day/week ahead. It is a very beautiful place to pray.

A few months ago, I was visiting my sister in Washington, D.C., and I bought a small book published by the Confraternity of the Precious Blood called My Meditations on Saint Paul (check it out here, here on Amazon, or, further still, here at Barnes and Noble…there are bountiful ways to get your hands on this book). I honestly have not been great at reading it, but this summer I have finally developed a rhythm. I read a meditation and then say as much of the Rosary as I can during that 30 minute window, and it’s been absolutely amazing.

However, and most of you can probably see where this is going, I literally did not see the connection between the fact that I work for the Paulists and the fact that I read meditations on St. Paul’s writings. It just hit me this week that I was doing this. And one might say, “Theresa, how could you not realize? Like, you are usually intentional, making sure to plan everything that you do, and you’re crazy about being systematic and organized.” And while this is true, even I sometimes fail to see what is right in front of me.

Upon further reflection, of course it would be St. Paul working in my life. I have an all-or-nothing personality with the tendency to form conniving plans, and St. Paul was the original all-or-nothing personality who formed conniving plans. As Saul, he was passionate abolishing Christianity and eliminating all those who followed it. He went to great lengths to do this, and he even permitted Christians to be killed. He didn’t get his hands dirty, however, when St. Steven, the first martyr, was being stoned to death. He simply held the coats of the stoners, stood back, and nodded his head. In this sense, it might seem that he was lukewarm, when in reality he was more passionate than the stoners because he planned for it to happen, and he wanted it to happen. He liked to control people and use power to get what he wanted to do done.

In the modern world, we have a term called transferable skills, such as communication, ability to navigate Word, ability to program computers, social media use, being a waiter in a fast-paced environment, being a line cook, etc. Well, I would definitely say that Saul had transferable skills because all of the skill that Saul used to hunt and kill Christians are skills that God made for him, obviously. So, after Paul’s conversion, those skills of planning, thinking, leading, and passion were used for good. St. Paul had always been a thinker, but after his conversion, he was able to think and be a voice of reason for Christians. The proof is in the Acts of the Apostles and his Epistles. I am still studying them, and therefore cannot give a fruitful comment, but so far, I relate to St. Paul because according to this, Paul was an ENTJ type.

I recently retook the test (linked in the first paragraph), and I was previously typed as ENTJ and ISTJ. I am definitely an introvert, and I took the test the first time when I was in high school, so that was honestly a terrible gauge of who I actually am as a person. I was also surrounded by terrible “friends” and was trying to fit in to be like them. I have, fortunately, grown more confident and sure in my friendships. Anyway, and the ISTJ seemed to me way too anal and robotic. I am particular, but as I’ve grown older, I’ve learned to adjust and adapt to people being less than cooperative.

Anyway, this all ties in to the other thing I wanted to mention. I was typed as an INTJ. According to this website, Paul was an ENTJ, so clearly we have some similarities. Some other voices (whether or not they are legit is up in the air) say that he might have been an ESTJ. Either way, he was definitely a thinker and planner. I am apparently a “unicorn” in the population as a female INTJ. An ISFJ friend of mine (same guy as I talked about in this post) said that there’s a danger for ego inflation with that tidbit of knowledge, and while that might be true, it must be observed that the ego of INTJ female is already quite strong because we know we’re different. However, I am very close to 50/50 on Thinking V. Feeling since I’m only 56% Thinking and 44% Feeling. So, as much as I like to tease and mentally spar with my INFJ male friend, I do know where he’s coming from most of the time.

The bottom line is that the world needs more people to care. I don’t even care about what they care about (as long as it’s somewhat moral and doesn’t humiliate another person). Life without passion is a sad life, and I can speak to that on a personal level. It really affects the soul when there is nothing to live for, and when there is no desire to live, life is meaningless. But the thing is that there is obviously a meaning to life because it exists. Even if you’re not religious or spiritual, or if you’re a nihilist, the answer to the question “why are we here” leads us to some sort of non-answer that sounds a bit like “because some force put us here.” I have mere liberal arts roots in this (meaning I took the required philosophy courses), and I have thought about this question from the perspective of a non-Christian, and it’s fruitless to me. In an atheists’ quest for truth, even if he finds it, he’s going to die at some point, and therefore can not pass it along in full. That’s why Catholic theology is so great (and I’m still learning more!). Because from generation to generation, people who have been passionate about the faith have shared and reflected on the faith with reason and intention.

So, be like St. Paul. Take all of your skills that you devote to unhealthy things and re-devote your life and work to something that you are passionate about. Of course, I know money is a concern, so I won’t be unrealistic and say that you should drop everything. But I do encourage everyone to cling to your passions because the minute we let ourselves be lukewarm is the minute we start to be pulled into an empty hole void of purpose.

Purposely,