“God must think I’m very strong.”
That was the first thought that came into my mind as I received a text from my friend telling me the news about Notre Dame de Paris burning. My raw thoughts are jumbled in an upset mess, but I can articulate a few things…
I come to you today reinvigorated in faith. Over the weekend, I went on a retreat with my school, and I had a really great experience. I’m not going to narrate the events to you, but I will share some thoughts and revelations that I found. This post won’t include all of the conclusive thoughts of this retreat, but I was compelled to write at least a little something.
Well, friends and family. It has been too long since my last post about a month and a half ago. I admit, it was partially my own lack of organization and time management. However, the bulk of seasonal depression as well as just a general lack of motivation also was beating me with a stick. Repeatedly.
Despite all this, this particular post is not supposed to be just a complaint about these things. It has been about a week now since my family put our dog down. I have honestly taken it much harder than I thought I would. I knew I would be sad, but I did not realize just exactly how much my heart would hurt. And it’s not like when you read a book or watch a movie, and you feel sad about a character death. It is a physical pain that seizes your chest, and it’s almost as if that blood-pumping organ also holds tears because once that pain punches your chest, the tears just flow. I will miss that little dog so much.
I sit here on this sunny afternoon to write about failure. What is life without failure? It is a perfect life. However, this is not the case for anyone.
Yesterday, I failed. A test? Please, do you think me pedantic? — An interview? Please, do you think me easily upset by rejection? — A relationship? Please, I am focusing on myself for the time being.
The fact of life is that at one point everyone will die. Perhaps an overly talked about subject, death is imminent. Death is not scary, at least to me, and at least to others who have come to terms with the idea of impending finality. Death, although not to be feared, should not be sought out. Death is just the beginning of a new adventure.
A Musing Writer 